just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
