I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
