You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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