Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
