Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
