dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
