yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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