Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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