I didn't shave. On purpose
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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