the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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