were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
