So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
