the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
