yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
