So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
