Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
