i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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