i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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