I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize