You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
