I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize