put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
