that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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