He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
