Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
