would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
