Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
