You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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