these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
