I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
