is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
