Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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