They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
