love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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