thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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