i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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