addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
