if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize