So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
