so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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