Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I did not marry a roomba.
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