He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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