I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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