Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
