Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you would pick up someone in the library
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
