My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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