I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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