is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
