Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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