That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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