We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
