She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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