"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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