Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
