My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
