my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
