I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
