question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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