I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
