One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize