I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm passing your future prison.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
