Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
