He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
