My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
