we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
